Freeloading Family Members

A family member has had a patch of bad luck… so, you let them move in. Only asking for a small amount of rent, because feeding, providing extra electricity, gas, wifi, etc, is costly. 

All is good for the first 90 days or so… isn’t that always the case with anything new? Roommates, jobs, etc. Then you start noticing the toenail clippings all over the bathroom floor and the sink full of only their dirty dishes?! Of course, you want to work through this, after all, you are family. 

Except that conversation turns into a full on heated argument and you’re left feeling as if you have harmed your new roommate and apologize for being so harsh….

You end this battle with a promise to be more sensitive to their needs…. WTF.

By the 5th month, your family member/roommate is avoiding you near rent time, basically every month. Texts haven’t been answered, calls go straight to voicemail, you’re not even sure they’ve slept in their bed?! Finally it’s rent day, you obviously have to pay rent on your own. That’s when you hear from your roomie…. the text reads, 

“Not going to be able to pay my end of the rent this month, but I’ll grab some wine and fill you in tonight!”

Are you serious?! Wine isn’t going to pay for the electricity you use, when you leave every light on in the house! Wine isn’t going to pay for a faster wifi plan, because you use it on every device you own all at the same time! Wine isn’t paying the water bill because you spend 40 minutes in the shower! But, you agree to sit down and discuss this situation over some wine. 

After two glasses of wine, your freeloading family member explains they’ve met their soulmate and have spent all of their money on a 3 day romantic cruise. Though, they only met their new soulmate 48 hours ago (while avoiding your communications regarding the rent) they know this person is the one for them, but not to worry, free loading Freddy assures you they’ll catch up on rent next month. 

Sure, you’ll catch up next month… cause that’s totally how the world works. Wouldn’t you like to live in that world? No worries if you can’t pay for something… you’ll just catch up another time LOL.

Near the 6th month, you start discussions of rent much sooner, because you learned your lesson last month. Waiting til the last minute worked for no one! Of course, the soul mate that sucked away all of your roomie’s money last month is no longer in the picture. As a matter of fact, they broke up right after the romantic cruise arrived back to the dock. Rent discussions are short but heated and most times met with hostility… Finally, the evening before rent is due, your pissed off roommate, leaves a wad of cash on the counter on their way out to another romantic weekend, with yet another soulmate. You count it and it’s $30 short of your agreed upon amount. 

But, hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?! 

At one point, the toenail clippings, shorted rent, new soul mate every week, no rent at all, non-cleaning, using up all the hot water, asshole in your house has pushed you over the edge! You sit them down and tell them they need shape up or ship out. As usual they take NO blame or any responsibility for anything. 

The next morning, you are woken by a phone that is ringing furiously with little to no pauses, because everyone in the family and even your friends are buzzing… because you are a horrible human being who is terrorizing your poor, poor, house guest. You know, the house guest who leaves disgusting toe nail clippings all over the bathroom floor. 

This fucker has to go ! You aren’t terrorizing them, they are terrorizing you! You’ve tried helping them, you’ve tried showing them how to budget, but honestly, you can’t fix STUPID. 

How do you get them out? Fuck if I know, but the moral to the story is, live alone, it’s less stressful LOL